These overly simple, empty phrases minimize the mourner's feelings, diminish the importance of the one who died, and take away the person's right to mourn: 

Give it time.

Keep busy.

Count your blessings.

You must be strong now.

At least she didn't suffer / he's not in pain anymore.

It's time to put this behind you now, to move on, to let go.

S/he lived a good, long life.

Try not to think about it / dwell on it / talk about it.

This will make you stronger.

Be thankful you had him as long as you did.

She wouldn't want you to be so sad.

Life is for the living.

It was God's will.

Everything happens for a reason.

God never gives you more than you can handle.

He's in a better place now.

This is a blessing.

Now you have an angel in heaven.

Time heals all wounds.

I know exactly how you feel.

You're young; you can have more children.

Be thankful you have another child / other children.

Let me know if you need anything, if there's anything I can do.

You must not / should not feel that way.

I'm sure you did all you could.

If a cherished pet is lost:

 It was only a dog / cat / bird / goldfish, etc.

You shouldn't be this upset over an animal.

You didn't react this way when your relative / friend / neighbor died!

You'll get over it in time.

You can always get another.

Copyright © by Martha M. Tousley, RN, MS, FT, BC-TMH    All rights reserved
 

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