Words of Comfort
for the Person in Mourning
I love you.
You are so important to me.
I want you to know I=m thinking of you.
I=m here for you, and I will continue to be here for you.
I wish you comfort, and I hope to be among those you find comforting in the weeks and months ahead.
I=m praying for you.
I want to help.
I=m glad you feel like you can talk to me about __________=s death. I=m here for you and ready to listen whenever you=d like.
I want to know what happened. Tell me about it.
I know what I went through when my __________ was dying and it is very painful. What is it like for you?
I understand your need to cry and I=m okay with it. You can cry in my presence whenever you need to.
It=s okay to feel the way you do.
Of course you=re angry. I=d feel the same way, too.
It=s good to let those tears out.
I want you to know I loved __________ and I miss him/her B but I know my missing can=t compare with yours. Tell me what it=s like for you.
I=d like to stay in touch with you; here is my telephone number / e-mail address.
I understand and respect your need for privacy as you grieve. If you need to be alone, please say so.
If you need me, I=m ready to receive a phone call from you anytime, day or night.
I=d like to bring in a meal for your and your family. Would Monday or Tuesday this week work for you?
I=d like to lend a hand with some of your yard work. How about one day next weekend?
I=ll be glad to take your kids to the park this Saturday morning.
I=d like to spend an afternoon or evening in your home, so you can get away from your caregiving responsibilities for a little while. Is there a time when you need to be gone?
I know _________ died 6 months ago / a year ago today and I am thinking of you.
How are you surviving?
How has life been different for you since _________ died?
What do you miss the most?
When is the worst time for you?
What do you do with your sadness?
What helps you during such a difficult time?
What memories are most special? Most difficult?
What gift of the heart from this person will you always keep?
What dates will be most significant for you this year?
What are some next steps for you now?
What beliefs or fears are you struggling with?
I believe that one day you will see the light of day again.
You may not have any hope right now, but I will hold it for you until you=re ready to hold it again on your own.
© by Martha M. Tousley,
RN, MS, FT, DCC All